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Friday, January 14, 2011

 

Is the post office obsolete?

I know that email must have almost done the post office out of business but it seems that if you need the services of the post office you still need to queue.

In my ageing family I am fortunate to have two sisters. The older of the two is quite computer literate and easy to contact by email (except when her computer was down recently). The younger chooses to not use the internet. If we want to stay in touch while I'm off in Asia we have to use snail mail. This has not been proving too easy since I've been staying in Malaysia.

I managed to get one letter off to her advising of my new address and soon after there was a reply in my mailbox. I was pleased. It is good to know that my mailbox actually works for things other than junkmail and electricity bills.

Posting the reply is not an easy matter. My local shopping centre is about 1 kilometre from my unit—a hilly kilometre. I don't mind the walk occasionally. Coming back up the hill gets my heart pumping. I'm sure that's good for me. Last time I went to the supermarket I asked where the nearest post office is. It's another couple of kilometres towards town. I prefer to not walk that. I could take the bus. Actually, I think that might be simpler. My friend rang me the other day. She had to go to that same post office. I needed to post the warranty forms for my two new cameras. She said she'd pick me up. When we got there we drove around all the nearby blocks and there was no parking. Outside the post office there is a clamp zone but there are cars parked there. So she parked and I stayed in the car while she went into the PO. Not sure what I could do as I have neither an international nor Malaysian license at the moment. I think she was gone for 20 minutes or more. There were cops on the other side of the road but they didn't come over our side. Eventually she returned and we hadn't been clamped or booked. : ) It cost 60 cents Malaysian (Australian 20 cents) to post the letter. But soooooo much trouble. Puts me off writing letters.

Fortunately my computer literate sister has come to the rescue. Now I email my letter to her, she prints it and mails it to our sister. Fortunately it's easier to use an Australian post office than a Malaysian one. Problem solved.

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Saturday, September 11, 2010

 

Rules of the guesthouse

This notice was on the back of the door of my guesthouse in Pakse. I post it here for the benefit of other travellers. If you have difficulty reading it, click on it for a larger version.

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

 

Obvious mistakes

While I'm reminiscing about my early career as a typographer in the days long before personal computers, here's a story from those days.

At this particular time I worked in the Sydney office of a large American publishing company—a publisher of books and magazines. I won't mention the name but you would know them. I worked in the art department as a typographer. My assistant and I had the job of specifying the typography for all publications and promotional materials produced by the company.

The head of the art department was a man we'll call D—a nice man but he had a huge ego. I don't think he was particularly creative or knowledgeable. He was basically an administrator. Everything produced by the art department had to have his initials on it in a little rubber-stamped box in the corner. And before he would add his initials he always had to change something.

This drove me crazy. If I had a typographic layout I'd done I would take it to him and he would say something like, 'That looks good, John, but I think you should add just a little more space between these two lines here.'

And I would reply, 'Well, if we add more space there, then we need to take some space out of here and that upsets the balance of these elements here.'

He'd say, 'Yes, you're right John, then what you need to do is this...' and he'd make another suggestion that was worse than the first. I'd explain why that wouldn't work and he'd come up with another suggestion. At this point I realised that it was better to accept what he said because every suggestion got worse than the previous one and one way or another he was determined to have some input into my layout.

Among my colleagues in the art department were two illustrators, we'll call F1 and F2. They were both about the age I am now. F1 did very fine pen illustrations that resembled hand engravings. He got a lot of freelance work from publishers who wanted illustrations that looked like they were from a previous era.

F2's style was almost the opposite of F1's. Where F1's illustrations were fine and detailed and took hours, maybe days, to complete, F2's were very loose. He had the ability to pick up a pencil, put a few rough strokes on the paper and in no time you were looking at a very free representation of the subject. F1 greatly admired F2's ability. In fact, both of them were masters at their own particular form of illustration.

One day I returned to our section after having one of my layouts destroyed by D's ego. I had a chat with F1 (perhaps one of my first mentors). He pointed out that when F2 took a drawing down to D for approval, D would say something like 'That looks very good F but look at this guy's leg. It's a little too short.' F would return to his drawing board, throw the picture away, angrily grab the first pencil that came to hand and redo the picture, being very careful to get the leg right. Ten minutes later he'd take it down to D and D would say, 'Well, the leg looks great now F but unfortunately this guy's hat is a bit crooked.' So F would return, throw that one away and start again. Sometimes he would end up doing 20 versions of that one picture and eventually would end up with an F2 rendering of a D illustration.

F1 then showed me how he handled the situation. He would very carefully make an obvious mistake in his illustration, one that was easily fixed. He would take it down to D and D would say, 'Look at what you've done here, F. This guy's got six fingers!'

'How silly of me,' F would reply. He'd return to his drawing board and make the illustration the way he wanted it to be in the first place.

After that I started making obvious mistakes in my layouts and D and I got on fine.

BTW, there's a footnote to this story. There was a photographer in the art department about my age. He often worked back late. I discovered much later that after the others had gone home and before the cleaners had gone through, he would collect F2's reject drawings. I once saw one of F2's sketches framed in a gallery. It was selling for about the same as my weekly wages. Perhaps that photographer was smarter than all of us.

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Thursday, April 23, 2009

 

What is it?

I recently purchased a device that was manufactured in China. There was a caution on the package in both Chinese and English. Here's the English wording:

'This product was easy to burning. Aloof the high temperature, please, because may-be beget any danger and the product's definition distort.

'The product only befit measure and study, unable to doother definition's measure. Needed the pate-rfamilias accompany, if the children haven't3 years'

I guess you've figured by now that my purchase was a plastic ruler.

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Monday, December 01, 2008

 

I'm not there

Friends, please do not worry. I am not in Mumbai. As it happens I have already moved on from India and these blogs are being posted after the event.

Nor am I in Bangkok. Please don't worry I've reached my next destination and feel very safe.

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

 

Internet cupboard

The word 'market' in India is used to describe something that is perhaps a cross between a market with free-standing stalls as you might find in South-east Asia and a shopping strip in an Australian (or other Western) town or suburb. The stalls in the Indian markets are permanent like those in a shopping strip but unlike those in the shopping strip, you don't usually enter. It's too small - sort of like a big cupboard.

I needed to pick up a few hardware items and found such a stall. They appeared to have as good a range of small hardware items as you might find in an Australian hardware store. How or where they store it all is beyond me. There is a woman behind the counter and the husband stands on the footpath along with the customers, helping from there.

'I need a small lock.'

She shuffles around for a short while and produces a tiny lock.

'Do you have one a little bigger?'

And out it comes.

'That's good. Now do you have an electric plug adapter?' One is produced but it's not right. She pulls out a few more and I find the one I need.

What else does she have in this stall that is not much bigger than a cupboard but seems to work like a magician's hat? I'm tempted to test her out by asking for a few more things except I'd have to buy them.

After I'd been staying at the Youth Hostel for a few days I decided I needed to go online. My Argentinian friend offered to show me where the nearest internet cafe was. We took a pleasant ten minute stroll to another 'market' and he pointed to the cupboard that contained the internet cafe.

I opened the door expecting to find a passageway leading to a bigger room behind but no, this was it.

It was a two storey cupboard with two compartments on each shelf, ie a total of four computers. The computers were fairly ancient, running an antique version of Windows and the connection was quite slow. It took me back about five years but wasn't really a problem as I was only checking my email.

At one point there were two guys together on the computer next to mine and they needed help from the operator so there were four of us cramped on the one cupboard shelf.

I've used other internet cafes in India since that one and I'm pleased to say they're more like I've experienced in other parts of Asia and usually run XP. Speeds are not up to what I'm used to in Bangkok, in fact no better than I'd expect to find in Cambodia. Maybe there are better cafes elsewhere in India but, so far, I haven't found one.

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Monday, November 17, 2008

 

Deciphering the signs

When I arrived at the New Delhi Youth Hostel I had to wait a little while at the counter which gave me time to read some of the signs on the walls. I like this one (the spelling and grammar are theirs):

Use of un-parliamentary languages with any of the staffs is strictly restricted

Climbing the stairs I was able to enjoy prints of paintings by local artists. But this sign had me boggled:

BEWARE OF NEW
WHITE PAINTING


I looked everywhere but could not find this dangerous white picture. Later I noticed they had the painters in and realised that this was the Indian version of 'WET PAINT'.

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Friday, November 14, 2008

 

Is he really stupid?

The tables in the dining room at Ivy Bank Guest House are fairly large. If you want to be heard by the person opposite, you need to raise your voice a little. It's not easy to have a private conversation. So I couldn't help hearing the voices at the next table.

The elderly American gentleman was quoting someone as saying that George Bush Jnr just had to be the stupidist (or was it dumbest?) US president ever. He must have agreed with this assessment or he wouldn't have bothered repeating it.

I don't.

I think George Bush Jnr is very shrewd.

The stupid ones, in my opinion, are all those American citizens who voted for him eight years ago. They proved to be even more stupid when they put him in again four years later.

I remember reading when I was a younger man that the way to have power over people is to convince them there is something they should fear and present yourself as being able to control or defeat that which is feared. (Sorry, I don't remember who said this, just remember the concept.) Dictators have been using this principle for centuries. Adolf Hitler used it well. The Chinese government used it recently to convince Chinese people not to listen to what the rest of the world was saying about them.

It works in democracies too. Just convince a majority of voters that there's something out there to be afraid of and that you'll do what is necessarly to protect them and they'll vote for you. Sadly it seems that so often so many of the people are too stupid to realise that what they need to be protected from is their would-be protector.

You may not be able to fool all the people all the time but if you can fool enough of the people some of the time, you just might get to be president of the United States and ruler of the free world.

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Friday, October 31, 2008

 

Computerless in Delhi

My lifestyle has become a mixture of travelling and staying put. It would be so easy to make a statement like 'I love travel'. And considering the lifestyle I have chosen for the past six years in particular, or perhaps my whole life in general, one might consider it would be an appropriate statement for me to make. But it's not true! The fact is that I hate travel. I hate the process of packing. I hate carrying all my possessions which equal more than one third of my body weight to strange places where I don't know the way, am not familiar with the transport systems and may not speak the language. I hate having to find suitable accommodation in yet another new city. I hate having to run the gamut of touts who think that your white skin is a symbol of your wealth and they are only too happy to relieve you of some of it. This is the style of travel that I have chosen and I want to say here and now that I hate it.

Of course there is another way to travel. I could stay in hotels that actually get star ratings. I could take taxis everywhere. I could go on guided tours. I could eat in the best restaurants. But what is the point? Except for the view, a five-star hotel in Bangkok, Hanoi or Delhi is just the same as a five-star hotel in Brisbane or Sydney. OK, so maybe the uniforms reflect the local culture. But believe me, when you are doing this you are not seeing the real Bangkok, Hanoi or Delhi. You might as well stay home and watch National Geographic Channel.

I am also not a typical backpacker, if there is such a thing. Hey, I don't want to stereotype backpackers. There's enough people doing that already. But I would like to distance myself from another kind of travel, ie getting pissed in cities all over the world. Getting pissed in Bangkok, Hanoi or Delhi can't really be all that different from getting pissed while watching National Geographic Channel in Brisbane or Sydney.

While I hate travelling, what I do love is being in places that are, to me, exotic. I love to stay in those places for an extended period of time, living amongst the locals. I don't want to live amongst expats. If I want to live among Australians, I'd go back to Australia and do just that. But I know what Australians are like. I lived among them for 55 years. Now I want to immerse myself in 'exotic' cultures; to live among the local people; to live their lifestyle; to learn what makes them tick and perhaps in some way to give a little back to their community. This I love and for the opportunity to do this, I'll put up with the crap that comes with my chosen style of travelling.

I've just spent seven months living in Bangkok. I lived out of town, in the suburbs. I lived in an apartment building amongst Thai people. Two days a week I went to Thai language class. I travelled on buses and trains, occasionally on motorcycle taxis but rarely in taxi cabs.

While living in Bangkok I did accumulate a few possessions: a small bookcase, a little cupboard, books, DVD movies, clothes. I did much the same while living in Mahasarakham, Kompong Chhnang and Melaka. This means I have to make decisions when I move on about what to do with all those excess possessions, all the stuff I can't carry. Occasionally I am able to store a few things in anticipation of a return but often I go through this process. I sort everything into three bundles: the things I absolutely must take with me; the things I'd like to take with me and those I can live without. When I have the 'must takes' in my bags, there is usually not much more room. I add a few of the 'like to takes' based on what fits and what will be most useful and I say goodbye to the rest. I give it away or throw it out.

I had been reasonably comfortable in my room in Bangkok because as well as the things I'd bought I'd also made a trip to Mahasarakham and brought back a suitcase full of useful stuff that'd been stored there. This meant that the sorting process in this, my most recent moving-on, was bigger than usual.

This is one of the aspects of travel that I hate. I hate trying to fit everything in and I hate having to leave behind things that to some degree I've become attached to. I've always been like this and I've always handled this issue in the same stupid way - I procrastinate.

And so there I was an hour before Ead was due to pick me up for the trip to Suvarnabhumi Airport, the bags half packed and accumulated possessions spread in neat piles around my room but there were one or two things that had still not found their way onto an appropriate pile. In particular, behind my desk there were a few electrical cables including the charger and cable for my Macbook computer.

After I reached Delhi I did a bit of writing. I wrote two blogs, one on my first impressions of Delhi and one on a caffeine incident I experienced. I also downloaded the 100 or so photos I'd taken at Suvarnabhumi Airport and processed a handful of them for my flickr page. When the battery started to get low I looked for the charger and that's when I realised what I'd done to myself because of my hate of travelling and my procrastination.

The following day I managed to get online (not on my computer) and find an Apple dealer that I could reach in Delhi. I got on the Metro and took a train ride to Srinigar Garden and found the Apple dealer who told me a replacement cable would cost 8,000 - 9,000 rupees (very expensive) and would take seven days to arrive. My plan was that in seven days I would be in Mussoorie, visiting one of the hill stations in the lower Himalayas, over 300 km from Delhi.

I thought it through and decided to confront the possibility of an attachment to my computer. I've decided, for the time being, to be computerless. Well, not entirely computerless - I still have the weight to lug around and there are, of course, internet cafes to help me communicate with you. I've also made some tentative steps towards getting my charger forwarded to me but it doesn't look like that will happen.

I had decided not to do any blogging until my computer was intact again but my friend Nazia had other plans. I might add that Nazia is a writer and that it was through our writing that we got to know each other and become friends. She was not supportive of the idea that my visit to India go unrecorded. She didn't argue the point. She simply went out and bought me a new notebook. No, not another computer, the old-fashioned kind made of paper that you write on with a pen. It has been hand bound with Indian fabric. It will be a souvenir of my visit to India in more than one way.

Perhaps my friend has an ulterior motive for her purchase. Recently I explained to her that writing was a form of therapy for me. When I have something on my mind, by writing I am able to get it out and to move on. Nazia has agreed to spend some time with me over the next few weeks. Perhaps she wasn't looking forward to my constipated companionship.

And it's working, already I've got this much down. In due course, no doubt I'll have access to a computer, either my own or one in a cafe and I'll be able to share my thoughts with you. If you're still with me, hang in there. There's a lot of pages left in this notebook.

And sooner or later I'll eventually upload the aforementioned blogs stored on my currently inaccessible Macbook.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

 

Visit Dr Pee Pee


In my neighbourhood in Bangkok I noticed this sign on the awning of a doctor's surgery. I thought it was just a normal doctor's surgery but now that I can read a little Thai, I'm reading signs that I had previously walked past and phonetically this says 'Pee Pee Clinic'. Was this a urologist, I wondered??? I took this shot and back at home I entered the second line into my online Thai translator and it says 'Treating illness, allergy and common diseases'. So, it apparently is a general practice. I also checked the word 'pee' and it means 'fat' which doesn't quite fit either. Maybe one of my Thai friends can enlighten me.

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Monday, September 15, 2008

 

What's happening in Thailand

Some of my friends check my blog from time to time to see what is happening with me. Some have pointed out recently that I have been a little quiet lately and they hear on the news about sometimes violent protests in Bangkok and they have been wondering if I'm OK.

If you too have been wondering let me first say I apologise for the lack of communication. I didn't realise it had been so long since I had posted a blog. Here is what is happening for me: I continue to go to school two days a week. I continue to study Thai. I am making progress but still feel I have a long way to go. My life is busy but not exciting. While I am finding little to blog about I have been quite content with my time here.

About the problems in Thailand. I wish I really understood what was going on but I have to say I don't. I appreciate that for you overseas you understand it even less so to give you a little background, here is how I see it:

As you know there was a coup a few years back to oust Taksin because while he had been taking care of the Thai economy he was also taking care of himself. In Thailand there is a law that says you can't criticise the king. It seemed Taksin thought no one should criticise him either. Anyway they got rid of him, were ruled by the military for a couple of years and got a new constitution and the people elected a new government which just happened to be the supporters of Taksin. Now either the people like Taksin and his supporters or they don't value their votes very highly and were prepared to accept bribes for their votes. Well, that's what people are saying but I have to ask: Are there no whistle blowers? To buy enough votes to win an election there must be a lot of people involved. It just needs one to say no, speak out and someone should be charged. I'm assuming vote buying is illegal in Thailand???

Anyway, there is a group that was against Taksin and played a role in bringing him down. They are called PAD which stands for Peoples Alliance for Democracy. The same people are now protesting against the current government. Perhaps they have a valid argument. The government has never impressed me. But I'm not too sure about the PAD name. I believe their proposal is for the elected members to be only 30% of the seats of the government and the other members to be appointed. One of their leaders has more or less said that Thai people are too stupid to be trusted with a vote. They may be right and they may be wrong but I think their name is wrong. They would be more honest if they called themselves People Against Democracy.

Anyway they've been protesting for a long time and now another group that supports the government has been opposing them and this is what has started the violence. But despite what the media outside Thailand would have you believe the protests are confined to a small area and only affect the streets close to the government buildings. I don't think I would want to be staying in Khao San Road at the moment. That would be a little too close for comfort but I live a long way out of town and so far it's pretty quiet here. It's pretty quiet where I go to school too. Life goes on. People talk about it but in most of Bangkok there is not much happening. I'm comfortable being here. I hope you're comfortable about that too.

If you'd like a little more info on what's happening in Thailand, I suggest you check the Thai English-language newspapers Bangkok Post and The Nation.

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Friday, August 08, 2008

 

Can learning a language be bad for self esteem?

The textbook used in my Thai class is in question-and-answer format. The teacher (Khoon Kroo) reads a question and each student takes a turn to read an answer. This has helped to develop my reading skills in Thai but doesn't do a lot for my confidence in speaking when I don't have the book. Sometimes I try to take it a step further and give my own answer rather than the one in the book.

Recently Khoon Kroo started doing something different. From time to time she would take a question and either use it as it is in the book or adapt it and ask each student individually for their personal answer to that question. I like this. If she keeps it up our spoken Thai should improve.

There was a range of new vocab for occupations introduced in the book. And she chose to ask each of us which job we would like to do. Each of the occupation words started with 'nak' which means person or expert. When it was my turn I answered 'nak gaa siian'. It wasn't in the book. I was being creative and saying 'I want to be a retired person' or perhaps 'expertly retired.' But no, she wasn't accepting that. I had to use an answer from the book. I looked down and saw 'nak khiian' expert writer. So that was the answer I gave.

Her response was 'naa beuah' boring. Mmmm.

As the class went on I realised that I was better off giving a frivolous rather than serious answer. We were asked 'What do you do when you are happy?'

'Yim' smile said one student. Each student gave their answer.

When it came to my turn I said, 'juup pheuan kong phom' kiss my friends.

'Pooying reu poochai?' Men or women?

'Mai bpen rai' It doesn't matter.

The next student was Jason, a New Zealander. We often have a joke together probably because we are the only ones in this class from our corner of the world. 'Khoon Jason, khoon bpen pheuan Khoon John?' Jason, are your John's friend? she asked.

'Mai bpen' no answered Jason.

I'm sure my Thai is improving but I wonder if this is good for my self esteem.

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Friday, July 11, 2008

 

Don't wanna lose the old stuff

A few months ago I lost my storytelling website. Did you notice? The ISP account that it was linked to was closed and as I personally don't really need it, I decided to let it go. At the time it was still getting quite a few hits, maybe as many as this blog does, at times more.

A few days back someone pointed out that the link to my blog archives Jan - Aug '05 was not working. It's on an entirely different site from this one. It seems OK now but that got me thinking, if that site closes, all that stuff is lost and while I have backup of most of it, some bits I don't.

I have not been maintaining my personal website for some time but there is still some useful stuff on it. It comes to me (and you) courtesy of a kind relative's ISP account. If she make changes, I could lose that site too.

I've decided to gradually move all that stuff, or at least the worthwhile bits, to a new blog page that will be linked to this one. I'm starting with the storytelling site because it does not exist anywhere else at the moment. If you are interested in any of that stuff, bookmark this address: http://oznasia.wordpress.com/

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Friday, August 24, 2007

 

Making friends

I have been thinking more of the effect of the single child policy on the personalities of Chinese people. I am also trying to understand why it is that, compared to most countries in Southeast Asia, I don't find the Chinese particularly friendly. I should qualify this statement. The Chinese are not unfriendly. They do not usually do anything negative. It is as if you don't exist or perhaps they simply have no need for you. This, at least, is my personal experience in the cities that I have visited.

My reasoning is this. Each Chinese child grows up with two doting parents who they share with no siblings. Probably both of these parents work. I am not sure what the situation is with professional child care but what I see as I stroll around town is children and grandparents together, sometimes just the grandmother and sometimes both grandparents. Each child as well as having two parents also has four grandparents to themselves. There are no cousins. And we all know how much grandparents love to lavish attention on their grandchildren. I guess Chinese grandparents are no different.

A child in most other countries has to compete for attention with their siblings. As we grow up, each of us learns the skills we need to get the attention we need. Sometimes these skills are negative ones like throwing tantrums but hopefully we learn some positive communication skills like; make eye contact, smile, say 'hello', pay a compliment. And by practising these skills we are being friendly.

A child from the single parent family has no such needs. They have no one to compete with. There are six people waiting to give them attention. The communication skills that many of us define as 'friendly' are unnecessary to these people. Therefore if I want to make friends in China it is up to me to take the initiative. The challenge is to master enough Mandarin language to do so before I leave.

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

 

Getting the message across

Many years ago my sister-in-law arrived in Australia and none of the family could speak English. Many migrants to Australia find themselves in this situation. I wonder how we, the rest of us, treat them. I suspect we mostly ignore them. It's too hard for us, so why bother. Ever try to walk in their shoes? I guess that's what I'm doing now.

I'm told that in China's larger cities more people speak English but in the smaller provinces they have less need to do so. On top of this the schools concentrate on teaching reading and writing. Speaking and listening are less easily examined so are taught less. An English teacher in Nanning told me that many students are fluent with reading and writing but can hardly speak. And, as I've written in relation to other countries, if your teacher is not a native speaker you may be learning bad pronunciation right from the start. When you do speak to a native speaker they may not understand you. Unless you are committed you might give up, thinking that it is just too hard.

From country to country people seem to handle this situation differently. Here in China I find I have to take the initiative to get people to acknowledge me. Otherwise they often pretend I'm not there. It's quite different from Vietnam. In Vietnam if you look like you might be half interested in buying something, or even if you don't, they use whatever techniques they have, even grunts, to get you to buy. Here it's common that they ignore you. Yesterday I stood in the internet cafe for about ten minutes before they accepted I wasn't going to go away and they had to deal with me. I felt like walking away but if I did where would I be? I don't know where there's another cafe. Even after they started to do something it took at least half an hour before they set me up. Now we've broken the ice I trust it'll be easier when I go back for my second visit. But after that I'll move onto another city and perhaps the process will start over again.

There appear to be cultural differences in relation to body language. In Australia we like to make eye contact with the person we speak with. When I was leaving Nanning I went to the bus station. It was huge. Way bigger than an airport in many Australian country towns. For that matter bigger than some international airports in some Southeast Asian countries. I needed help. I did not have a clue which gate to go through or which bus to get on. My ticket was printed in Chinese. There was one person in front of me at the information booth. When they'd been served I stood at the counter waiting for the person to stop doing what they were doing and make eye contact—to me a sign that she was ready to deal with me. Before that happened someone else barged in and put his request in Chinese. I thought I was at the head of the queue but I found myself pushed down one.

Eventually I was able to ask 'Do you speak English?' I showed my ticket. There were two people behind the counter. All they could do was jabber on in Chinese and point, none of which meant anything to me.

After they realized we were getting nowhere, one went off and in time came back with another young woman who said, 'How may I help you?'

Hooray! Someone I can talk to. She pointed out that my bus didn't leave for an hour but that if I wanted she could get me on a bus that was about to leave. I did, she did and off I went. The service was great. She was extremely helpful—once I found a person who could understand me.

I was the only westerner on the bus. The hostess seemed to have learned off a few sentences. She would walk back to my seat from time to time and say something like, 'Please fasten your safety belt.' And, when we made a comfort stop, 'If you need to wash your hands, please make the best use of the time available.' I suspect if I'd asked her any questions she would have been lost.

This is the situation in some of the hotels. If I am lucky enough to get someone who can speak a little English they have a cheat sheet under the counter which lists the standard answers to standard questions. Ask a non standard question and she may or may not be able to answer. Try asking for a towel for example.

Taking the initiative here has become a basic survival technique for me, especially if I want to eat. Menus are all in Chinese, even in the hotel. I wanted some chicken last night. The only way to get my message across was to squawk and flap my arms. It worked. Sometimes it pays to have been a children's storyteller.

Next time you have the opportunity to help someone who doesn't speak English (or whatever is your home language), I hope you'll remember to be patient and think of me in Wuzhou squawking and flapping my arms.

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